PSA: Parents! Let’s talk about being uncomfortable with play!
I am sure we all have heard about the POWER OF PLAY. We know and have heard time and time again how play is such an integral part of a child’s development, and it is! Research shows that play affects all areas of growth such as social skills, language development, problem solving, imaginative thinking, etc.
I always thought play was something that comes natural to us, especially when we become parents. When I first started my career as a speech language pathologist, one mistake I came across (and I am so glad that I did) was assuming just this. More importantly, parents naturally know HOW to play with their child. One specific early intervention client I had gave me a brand new pair of eyes to look out of early on in my career.
I was working with a late talker who was around 3 years old. I always structure my early intervention sessions so that they are child-led and play-based, but on this specific day I wanted the mother to lead the session. She always joined in on our sessions and was very involved, but I noticed how she would usually model whatever it was that I was doing/saying, so this sparked my curiosity... She often spoke about how her child would play with puzzles and read books at home, but never spoke much about playing. The mother, her son, and I were playing with a farmhouse which was her child’s preferred activity. I handed the mother the reins and said, “You lead…I’ll join in!”
She held the farm animals in her hand, paused, and looked at me with a blank stare. It was at that moment that she turned towards me and said, “I am really uncomfortable. I don’t know how to play with him. Can you please teach me how?” I was a little taken back given that she would typically join in on our sessions with her child and model my play. But in that moment, I was so proud of her as a parent for asking for help in a way that to me at the time, was something I thought and wrongly assumed was natural to all parents and caregivers. I know how difficult it was for her to express this, but it changed everything. That moment was critical in her relationship with her child and her child’s language development, and was also a huge turning point in my career. In my eyes, that is strength...not weakness!
We spent the following appointments having her lead the play, while she was simultaneously incorporating the tools I provided for her. Baby steps were the way to go. I provided her with handouts, conducted weekly check-ins, and provided examples of at-home activities she can try at home with accompanying words and phrases that she can use so it can help her get her feet wet in this brand new world of play. From that day on, her child made so much progress in his language development. One word phrases became two word phrases became 3 word phrases in months! It not only improved her child’s language skills, but created such a beautiful bond between her and her son.
Yes, reading and puzzles and ABCs and numbers are great! But, play is where you get all of that rich, yummy, language.
I urge parents to have these honest conversations with your speech pathologist. It is my goal to make sure that you feel empowered and that you can play with your child even when your speech therapist is not there. However, the only way that this can be done is to make sure you are having these uncomfortable conversations, and have your speech pathologist there to assist you. I can assure you that on our end, there is nothing uncomfortable about it but we can definitely empathize and acknowledge that it is not easy.
I trust that all of us in this field are kind and compassionate humans who would be more than happy to back track and hold your hand throughout this process, teaching you exactly how to play in a way that makes sense to you. It’s what makes this profession worthwhile.
Keep in mind, there is no right or wrong way to play! But there are techniques and tips that can help you make the most of your play time with your little one, while supporting their development.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to our office for a complimentary consultation.
With Love,